Former English skipper Lewis Moody has revealed he has been found to have motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet deal with the full implications of the muscle-deteriorating condition that ended the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was part of the 2003 championship side and lifted several English and European titles with Leicester, spoke to BBC Breakfast a fortnight after learning he has the condition.
"There's a certain facing the future and hesitating to really process that at the moment," he stated.
"This doesn't mean I am unaware of where it's going. We understand that. But there is absolutely a reluctance to confront the future for now."
Moody, speaking together with his wife Annie, says conversely he feels "calm" as he focuses on his current health, his family and getting ready for when the disease deteriorates.
"Possibly that's shock or maybe I handle situations in another way, and after I have the information, it's more manageable," he added.
First Signs
Moody learned he had MND after noticing some weakness in his upper arm while working out in the gym.
After physical therapy didn't help the condition, a number of scans revealed nerves in his central nervous system had been compromised by MND.
"You're given this diagnosis of MND and we're understandably very moved about it, but it's rather peculiar because I sense that I'm perfectly healthy," he added.
"I don't experience sick. I don't experience unwell
"My symptoms are very minor. I have a small amount of muscle wasting in the hand area and the upper arm.
"I continue to be competent to performing anything and everything. And hopefully that will persist for as long as is attainable."
Disease Progression
MND can progress quickly.
According to the charity MND Association, the disease claims a third of people within a twelve months and above half within two years of detection, as eating and respiration become more difficult.
Treatment can only delay worsening.
"It's not me that I feel sad for," commented an emotional Moody.
"It's about the sorrow around having to inform my mum - as an only child - and the ramifications that has for her."
Family Impact
Talking from the family home with his wife and their family dog by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by emotion when he discussed breaking the news to his sons - 17-year Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the heartbreaking news, stating: "It was the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"They're two wonderful boys and that was pretty heartbreaking," Moody remarked.
"We were seated on the sofa in tears, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog jumped over and started removing the drops off our faces, which was somewhat silly."
Moody stated the priority was staying in the moment.
"There exists no solution and that is why you have to be very militantly directed on just embracing and enjoying everything now," he commented.
"As Annie said, we've been really lucky that the sole decision I made when I retired from playing was to allocate as much time with the kids as feasible. We won't recover those times back."
Player Connection
Elite competitors are excessively affected by MND, with investigations proposing the prevalence of the illness is up to six times elevated than in the wider community.
It is believed that by reducing the O2 available and producing injury to motor neurone cells, consistent, vigorous physical activity can activate the disease in those previously predisposed.
Sports Career
Moody, who earned 71 England caps and toured with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in acknowledgment of his courageous, unwavering style to the game.
He participated through a bone injury of his leg for a time with Leicester and once initiated a practice altercation with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he discarded a training equipment and began throwing himself into collisions.
After entering as a substitute in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the rear of the set piece in the critical phase of play, setting a platform for scrum-half Matt Dawson to attack and Jonny Wilkinson to score the game-deciding drop-goal.
Assistance Network
Moody has earlier told Johnson, who skippered England to that victory, and a couple of other ex- team-mates about his diagnosis, but the others will be learning his news with the rest of public.
"There will be a moment when we'll need to depend on their support but, at the present, just having that type of affection and acknowledgment that people are there is what's important," he said.
"This game is such a great group.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even if it concluded now, I've appreciated all of it and accepted all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"When you have the opportunity to label your love your career, it's one of the most significant honors.
"To have done it for so long a period with the teams that I did it with was a delight. And I know they will wish to assist in whatever way they can and I await having those conversations."
